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Joke of the Day

"Today I ended a long term relationship. I don't really care though, it wasn't mine."

"Yeah, but is it Tyrannosauri Rex or Tyrannosaurus Rexes? *The Jehovahs Witness slams my own door in my face"

"Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do. Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM! -high fives Socrates-"

"If a person with down's gets high Do they become a normal person?"

"I bought some shoes off a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day"

"My math teacher called me average. How mean!"

"An ostrich commits grand heresy against the empire. He is promptly ostrichized. No? ok."

"If i had a dollar for every time i heard the word trump I would have it on repeat while i slept."

"What did the frozen scientist say? ""It's fine, I'm 0K"""

"Did you hear about the country adopting a ""Get to it Later"" policy? I guess you could say it's a procrasti-NATION"