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Joke of the Day
"Today I ended a long term relationship. I don't really care though, it wasn't mine."
Next Joke
"What did Apply say to the iPhone 7? Hit the road, Jack."
"""How much for the supermodel?"" *winks seductively ""Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."""
"What do toys and boobs have in common? Both are made for children but it's the fathers who play with them most."
"How can you tell an old person from a young person? An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time."
"Liam Neeson is like Super Mario who keeps saving a chick who keeps getting kidnapped but instead of mushrooms he's really into phone calls."
"How long is a short circuit? As long as it takes to ***find*** it!"
"What do you call Tinder for an amputee? Timber"
"I asked a genie for the ability to shoot microwaves from my hands... Clunk. These are heavy."
"[hotel] wife: I'm gonna go change. Find us a movie, ok? *winks* me: Ok! *wife comes out in lingerie* wife: What'd you pick? me: Space Jam"