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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Tinder for an amputee? Timber"

"If Watergate happened today it would be called Watergategate."

"The Ikea corporation was found not guilty yesterday for assassinating a rival companies CEO. While there were several damning pieces of evidence, the detectives couldn't seem to put the case together."

"Sea Shells Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because the D shells are to big."

"Did you her about the boy that was born without any eyelids? They used the foreskin from the circumcision to make them. I guess you could say he was a little cockeyed."

"Think training raptors is tough? Imagine Dragons."

"A friend told me that I don't understand irony... ... which is ironic, because I was was waiting for a bus at the time. -- Alanis Morissette (not really)"

"I've seen homeless guys who keep their boxes in better shape than some girls keep theirs."

"I ran into a fat guy on the way to work Luckily I bounced back"

"A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar... the bartender says 'hey, Mitt.'"