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Joke of the Day

"Easy way to tell GOP actually know their policies are hot giraffe shit is how ashamed they are of George W. Bush."

"Smoking causes a huge financial burden that's shared by all of us, so it only makes sense that they get a bunch of extra five minute breaks."

"Someday I wish to experience the moment of joy that seems to only exist in Old Navy commercials."

"Too sick to walk to the drugstore. Anyone have a recipe for turning meth back into cold medicine?"

"What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull your meat out."

"Well you know what they say about history. Those who don't learn from history: Those who don't learn from history."

"My wife says ""I want to go... ...somewhere i've never been before."" I said, why not try the kitchen."

"What's Justin Bieber's favorite make of car? Voltz-swaggin. I thought of this myself and I am so, so sorry."

"*shoots self in foot* ""Damn i like the metaphor better"""

"I woke up with a raging hard on.... I called my wife over and told her to fix my clock. She said ""that doesn't look like a clock."" I responded, ""if you put a face and 2 hands on it it does."""