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Joke of the Day

"[Computer Games] Enemy: Where have you learned aiming? Response: In programming course."

"She was upset when I gave her 4 quarters rather than dollar... It has the same value. It doesn't make any cents."

"I hope Hilary gets elected. So taxpayers can save 23% on paying the presidential salary."

"It's Friday! I'm as happy as a newborn in a topless bar!"

"THE HORROR! *splat THE TRAGEDY! *splat IT'S AWFUL! *splat SO MUCH BLOOD! *splat WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! *splat -It's raining men."

"Me: You're such a good boy. Dog: *tail wagging* Please leave the room so I can eat the couch."

"I went to the library and asked for a book on rohypnol. That's the last thing I remember."

"WIFE: ""You look tired honey. How about a nice steak mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?"" HUSBAND: ""No thanks. I'm too tired. Let's just eat at home."""

"It is said the population of sheep in New Zealand is 60 Million. How did they stay awake to figure THAT one out?"

"What do you call someone who's studied Old Norse literature and become an expert. Well edda-cated."