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Joke of the Day
"i wish i had a cute laugh but instead i sound like a dying seal"
Next Joke
"No YOU hug her first .... NO YOU hug her first .... F-that ! YOU hug her FIRST ! .... -Lineup congratulating the Next Ebola free nurse"
"I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me."
"I now have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."
"What do you call a female alligator? A galligator"
"If a Woman says you're ""unfuckable""... ...she means ""you're unattractive"". If a Man says you're ""unfuckable"" it means ""you're a Mermaid"""
"What do you call someone who slaps their siblings daughter? A niece slapper."
"Jesus came to me the other night Please let me out."
"What do you call an unidentifiable eating disorder? An a-nom-aly"
"I saw Tom Hanks today so I asked him for his autograph. He just wrote Thanks."