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Joke of the Day

"This is getting ridiculous. At what point does a newborn learn to change their own diaper?"

"I always have too much month left at the end of my money."

"I'm going on a vodka diet. Apparently you can lose 3 days in one week..."

"I could tell you a Chemistry joke .....but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction"

"How many Redditors does it take to tell a joke? Two. One to think of it, and another to repost it a day later."

"Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y? Because why emcee, eh?"

"Why is ""Dick"" short for Richard? Genetics."

"This may be the vodka talking, but ."

"remember: knives and alcohol don't mix. knives are solid they don't mix with anything. why where you trying to drink a knife anyways idiot"

"I just opened an express clothing alteration business. It's called Tailor Swift."