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Joke of the Day

"A Social Justice Warrior went to the doctor about their weight problem. The doctors says to avoid trans fats. The Social Justice Warrior asks, am I allowed to use Tumblr?"

"My career as a karate instructor was tragically curtailed when parents found out I was wholly unqualified & just enjoyed kicking children."

"how many calories are in a horse"

"Two blondes walk into a bar You would think one of them would have seen it."

"A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aldo ! Aldo who ? Aldo anywhere with you !"

"What do you call a group of babies? The infantry."

"Q: What does an Irishman have for dinner? A: Starvation. Q: And what does he have for dessert? A: Ethnic cleansing."

"Therapist: what's your problem today? Me: I have this constant eye roll. Therapist: stop reading your own tweets."

"I Just Started My New Job Performing Circumcisions... The base pay sucks, but luckily I get lots of tips."