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Joke of the Day

"Reading that some butterflies avoid sex by closing their wings to males. The slutty ones get tattoos on the smalls of their backs"

"A roman walks into a bar, holds two fingers up and says ""5 beers please"""

"Jesus take the wheel Carlos you take the stereo, and Roberto, you take lookout."

"I stick pins and needles in the people I don't like because can't afford voodoo dolls."

"Damn girl, are you my Boy Scout troop leader? Cause you're making me pitch a tent."

"guy next to me on my flight is just staring forward. no movie, no book, nothing. so its been nice knowing you I'm about to be murdered"

"A grasshopper hops into a bar... The bartender sees him and says ""Hey, we have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper looks up and says, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"What a weekend... apparently gonorrhea is NOT a girl's best friend."

"I want to get back on the merry go round... ...but I'll need a moment of inertia."

"What did the fertilizer say to the grass? I'm the shit."