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Joke of the Day

"Me: If I have $45 and your mother has $15, how much money does your mom have? 6yo: $60 Me: That's correct, son."

"What's the funniest smelling thing on the earth? An anchovies cunt."

"The only things that defy gravity are women... ...the heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up."

"How many people in Brazil shave? A Brazilian."

"Remember, freedom isn't free. If you're with the military-industrial complex, it can be incredibly profitable."

"According to the most current magazine in this doctor's office, every home in America will have a television by 1962."

"So another way of saying a no-brainer would be...? A Kurt-Cobainer..."

"Whats the difference between and old computer and a woman? a computer accepts a 3.5 inch floppy"

"Someone told me that the best pokemon was the bird that holds a leek stalk I said 'That's a little farfetch'd'"

"Why did the mortgage broker go out of business? ...because he lost interest."