60212

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lazy overeater and a flirtatious emo? One is Sloth the Gluttonous the other is Goth the Sluttiness. Yep made that up on the way home today... Sorry."

"Can everyone start saying salad is really bad for me so I can start craving it?"

"I'm just saying honey, if I sound like a cat throwing up hair balls the next day...it may be time to trim things up a bit."

"Drink to remember. Drink to forget. Tweet while drinking, Wake up with regret."

"""Let's see what you're made of!"" he says on approach, knife in hand. ""Good."" I mutter. ""Another adversary who paid no attention in Biology."""

"What's the most annoying thing in the internet? People who comment ""repost"" on a Joke subreddit."

"HAVE SOME FUN WITH YOUR LIFE: Whisper ""You should have killed me when you had the chance"" to the person in the bathroom stall next to you."

"""Don't fret."" -Guitar that apparently doesn't want to be played"

"Don't play with a girl's heart she only has one play with her tits, she has two of those."

"Hi, I'm black and I can't stand the stereotype that we are all criminals. -Sent from your iPhone"