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Joke of the Day

"If you really want to fuck a vampire.. then i'd say you're down for the count"

"Accidentally bought a Venti at Starbucks and now I can't afford to go to college :("

"I just got a job circumcising elephants. The pay is terrible, but the tips are huge."

"Why are 490 Romans are funny ? Because XD Edit : Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here"

"If a giant capture you and me and made a smoothie out of us, what would it taste like? It would taste like ""just us""."

"Why are dwarfs so good at math? Because it's the little things that count."

"Q: Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise? - A: It's meow-sic to their ears!"

"Remember: It's not stalking if you don't see me."

"I threw a boomerang yesterday and it didn't come back. How long do you reckon before it's safe to turn around?"

"Why did the man name his daughter Candy? She was the sweetest mistake he ever made."