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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? Someone who's up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"Yo mama's so fat.. ..that she takes a selfie in panorama"

"The wife and I were lying in bed this morning when she said, ""I think the romance in this relationship is dead."" I wish she wouldn't talk to me while I'm having a wank."

"What happened to the gay couple that mistook Vaseline for wallpaper paste? Their wallpaper fell down!"

"[sees kid crying in grocery store] hey little guy [kneels down to his level] Can you please move you're blocking the Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"

"What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms? 2Na"

"If ISIS would really like the world to take notice of their intentions they should kill a lion."

"This year for Christmas you are getting jeans with the pockets cut out. So you can have clothes and something to play with."

"I was watching a documentary about Islam the other day... But eventually I just got bored and changed the channel. I never did get to the bomb making part! *^OC^as ^^far ^^as ^^I ^^know*"

"I'm gonna date the first guy to come out of this ""Free STD Screenings!"" van. #goodplan"