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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a snail on a sail boat? A snailor"

"Why do postmen carry letters? Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves."

"What's the difference between a green bean chickpea? #EDIT: What's the difference between a green bean **and a** chickpea?# No one has ever paid to have a green bean on their chest"

"What do you call a cheap hooker's snatch? Death Valley."

"Bound by notifications, we are the Fellowship of the Ding."

"Who has scene a dinosaur? No one! They're extinct!"

"Ways To Win My Heart: 1) Be smoking hot 2) Be thin 3) Be a pig 4) Be bacon"

"The ending of ""Romeo and Juliet"" is only sad if you think two fourteen year-olds should have gotten married."

"What's the difference between an old Greyhound bus terminal and a lobster with 38 D breasts? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean!"

"I once slept through a burglary. Next thing I know they're taking mugshots."