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Joke of the Day
"I once slept through a burglary. Next thing I know they're taking mugshots."
Next Joke
"What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia? I'm Snowden!"
"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef-jerky."
"I just have a step ladder I never knew my real ladder"
"What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet."
"What do you call a tea knight? A vigilan-tea"
"He asked what I like in bed so I was honest: 1. My dog 2. iPhone 3. Blankets fresh from the dryer 4. Take out"
"A dyslexic, agnostic insomniac lay awake all night wondering if there is a dog. EDIT: Credit to David Foster Wallace."
"LPT: If you want to get all green lights just try to send a text."
"Why can't Trump supporters ever get into higher levels of mathematics? Cause they can't grasp the concept of integration. (all credits to my friend if he reads it here but didn't post it himself!)"