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Joke of the Day

"*TSA officer opens my suitcase, disembodied fist pops out and punches him* me: sry sir I forgot I packed a powerful punch *TSA guns me down*"

"Roses are brown, violets are brown Who shit on my yard?!?"

"My phone didn't get a ring all day. . Then I forgot I had it in lebron mode."

"What's the proper way to pronounce Mormon? The second m is silent."

"What do you call a dog from another planet? A dal-martian"

"How did the explorer react when the which doctor turned him into a miniature ballsack? He was a little testie! Bump dump pshhh!"

"My son walks in on me masturbating. He asks me what am i doing. I say, don't worry son you will be doing it soon. Why dad? he asks. Because my arm is getting tired."

"So I hear Robin Gibb died a few days ago. There's only one BeeGee left now... ...I guess he's Stayin' Alive..."

"[Commercial for babies] *100 year old woman trying to feed a brick a bottle of milk* ""There's got to be a better way"""

"What do you call a civil rights activists who's also a shower sponge? Martin Loofah King"