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Joke of the Day

"So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don't taste any different."

"What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? The weekend!"

"What do birds order when they go to Starbucks? Flappaccinos."

"I have a long distance relationship with an anorexic girl. Lately I've been seeing less and less of her."

"Some homophobic guys are scared that a dude might hit on 'em. If a chick wouldn't hit on you, neither would a dude. Ugliness is universal."

"Valentine's Day makes me realize how single I really am. But I'm still gonna sleep like a baby knowing I'm not getting cheated on."

"We need to overthrow that Tyrannosaurus Rex and democratically elect a Presidentosaurus Rex"

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef! Bonus joke: What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef!! Double Bonus: What do you call a cow with one leg stuck in the ground? Steak!!!"

"What do you do with 100 peaches? You eat what you can, and you can, what you can't."

"Movie Trivia: Cloverfield was just Khloe Kardashian on a shopping trip in New York"