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Joke of the Day

"If I had a daycare, I think it would be awesome to get each kid to wear one of those backpack-leash things and make them pull me on a sled."

"Why did Little Miss Muffet have GPS on her Tuffet? To keep her from losing her whey."

"Stupid jokes I made at 3 in the morning. What do you call a Spanish man with erasers for toes? *Roberto* What do you call a Spanish man with no car? *Joaquin*"

"There was an explosion at a French cheese store Everywhere you looked, there was a lot of de brie."

"Women: Think of every guy you have ever been friends with. He has jerked off to you. Good talk."

"Yo momma's so fat... .. when she fell out of bed, it was detected by LIGO."

"How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none, they blew it up already."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"If God hates gays so much, why didn't he put it in the ten commandments? Instead he's more pissed that you're jealous of your friend's PS4"

"I really do not understand lent... ...I'd better give up trying!"