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Joke of the Day

"What is the fiercest animal in the savanna? The *itseems*. Because the lion is not as fierce as it seems..."

"I'm reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards"

"What disease do basement dweller mosquitos give you? M'laria"

"Did you hear about the guy who brought a ladder to the bar? He heard beer was on the house"

"My girlfriend and I were practicing safe sex... i told her sex with a condom on doesn't usually feel as good. she pulled it off"

"Who is Monica Lewinsky's favorite football player? Ha Ha Clinton Dix"

"I bought the wrong kind of compass. Now I'm lost in the middle of nowhere drawing perfect circles."

"Dessert police! Open up! *breaks down door* Freeze! Cake it easy man, I'm Pudding you in Custardy! ""Ugh, well isn't this just Flantastic."""

"What do you call a big irish spider ? Paddy long legs !"

"I ought to start doing more with my weekends than just sit at home drinking beer, jacking off to porno mags and playing minesweeper. I do enough of those things at work."