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Joke of the Day

"A man and a woman are lying in bed late night... ...and the woman asks her man: ""Honey, do you prefer smart or pretty women?"" and the man responds calmly: ""Neither, baby, I prefer you."""

"What does Salvador Dali have for breakfast? Surreal."

"Well this is new. A pigeon just shit on my phone as I was texting."

"The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I'm not allowed in Subway."

"While other countries are doubling down on education, we're using chicken breasts as sandwich bread."

"Bill Cosby walks into a bar The rest is a blur!"

"Have you heard about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods... ...?"

"I used my rosary as a whip today... Call me Indiana Joan of Arc"

"My Uncle Bill was a terrible door to door salesman. He never once was able to get one door to buy another."

"Yo mamma conforms to Planck's law - the greater the frequency with which she screws, the more energetic she gets."