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Joke of the Day

"Why did Pinocchio's nose get longer? Because he told his wife he cheated on her."

"Genius move, Romeo & Juliet, for killing yourselves instead of getting married and spending the rest your lives wanting to kill each other."

"Why did the horse get a DUI? She had too many maretinis"

"""IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN"" I yell while running in the opposite direction."

"I hate tacos! Said no Juan ever."

"I am currently upset at my mom for having me. I didnt ask to be here. Now I have all these damn bills."

"What did Stephen Hawking name his new hair salon The Curl Up and Dye"

"When I was a little girl dreaming about what life in my thirties might be like, I envisioned way more powerful enemies."

"What's the difference between a normal pirate and a sexy pirate? The type of booty they plunder."

"Q: How many Taureans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Taureans don't like to change anything."