58950

Joke of the Day

"People who say they're 'living in the moment' must be hitting the refresh button like a motherfucker."

"Just threw out my one night stand. There were termites."

"What do you tell a girl who won't stop asking for a tampon? Put a sock in it."

"If he's hot on your heels, dump him. You do not want a man who looks better in your shoes than you do."

"You guys hear about the gay midget? ya, he finally came out of the cupboard."

"*chases cat around the house with a lint roller"

"Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!"

"If my work did a 'fireman' style calendar, I'd probably get stuck with Mr... Photographer"

"When the cashier asks for my signature, I just write ""HELP ME"" while maintaining eye contact"

"Please. Danger is my middle name. ""What's your first name?"" Avoids"