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Joke of the Day
"Have you ever heard of the international feline butt scratching award? . I hear it's a catastrophe"
Next Joke
"Mickey Mouse is on trial for the murder of Minnie Mouse The judge asks to clarify, ""The report here says your motive for killing her is for being too silly?"" ""No your honor, she was fucking Goofy"""
"When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?"
"How do sheep keep warm in winter ? Central bleating !"
"*smels vinyl record* The Continents r ok but they wer way beter befor they split up. do u kno the supergroup Pangaea? its from befor ur time"
"If you come mow my lawn for me I promise to look out the window occasionally and give you a thumbs up."
"LIFE HACK: Answer your phone ""Hello you're on the air"" and 99% of the time people will just hang up"
"What has 2000 eyes and 4000 feet? A thousand dogs."
"Exclamation point rules ! - good !! - excited !!! - awesome !!!! - starting to get creepy !!!!! - cheerleader creepy !!!!!! - own 20 cats"
"Came up with a somewhat original dead child joke today. How is a ten year old different from a pizza? Pizza doesn't beg for you to finish it off when you only eat half of it."