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Joke of the Day

"I am against animal testing because there is nothing crueler than forcing a living creature to smell like Axe Body Spray."

"Are you tired of greasy pots and pans? Stubborn kitchen stains? Messy sponges and sprays? Me too. I wish the sun would devour the earth."

"Don't have phone sex.... You could get hearing aids."

"Why your oven doesn't attend an university? It already has at least hundred degrees"

"FREE $1,000,000,000 IDEA: a Tumblr-type platform for list-making called Schindlr"

"Please hold so I can transfer you to a supervisor and accidentally hang up on you."

"I told a waitress she was much prettier without glasses so she set down her tray of drinks."

"What do you call a midget king? ""Your shortness."""

"What is the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents that you are gay."

"Why aren't burgers the least bit scared of Halloween? They're used to people 'goblin' them!"