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Joke of the Day

"What does a hardware salesman do on a one night stand? He nuts and bolts."

"*leads horse to water* ""You're not gonna drink, are you?"" *horse neighs* ""It's The Fountain of Eternal Youth."" Horse: You're not foaling me."

"A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts ""your money or your life!"" The student keeps walking, and says ""Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either""."

"Q: How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it? A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack."

"What is the best contraceptive for old people? Nudity"

"What's the difference between a hotel and a lodge? You can't hotel your dick into someone's ass."

"My poetry brings all the hipsters to the yard and they're like ""How Avant-garde"""

"A lethal injection that takes two hours has no place in a civilized society. And it shouldn't happen in Arizona either."

"Why do vegans don't like to kiss?? It gives them butterflies in their stomach"

"My girlfriend is on her period... She calls me Dracula."