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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Muslims use contractions of words? Because in Islam, the penalty for apostrophe is death."

"My wife and I have had sex six times in the last three months. I wonder what's making her so horny."

"The difference between an alcoholic and a drunk is staggering."

"I'm not an alcoholic, an alcoholic NEEDS a drink... I already have one"

"Can everyone who is pretending to be a slutty, hot broad but is actually a dude raise our hands? THEIR HANDS, I MEANT THEIR!"

"what do vegan zombies eat? Graaaaaaaaaaaaaains..."

"Whats a sign a subreddit has strong moderation? [removed]"

"John regrets getting a brain transplant. I guess he changed his mind."

"I totally baby-proofed my house, but one still got in."

"What do you call a midget psychic that escaped prison? A small medium at large"