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Joke of the Day

"What is called a honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone with no dressing."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking. Jk rowling"

"How does an Australian call his friend from the Czech Republic? Czechmate"

"If someone says ""With all due respect,"" what follows is the verbal equivalent of a captive chimp hurling feces at you."

"[blood bank] Doc inserts needle [turns around] YOU AGAIN! [vampire sucking on tube like straw] GO ON SCOOT [chases him from room with broom]"

"I always sleep naked. I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable, they can just switch buses."

"When I say, ""No problem,"" I mean, ""YOU REMEMBER THIS FAVOR FOREVER."""

"My wife and I couldn't have a baby so we decided to go to an adoption agency. I was so excited while I was in there. It made me happy to think that I could finally take off the baby on board sticker."

"Its funny how guys always say they would give their left nut to do something awesome. Why is the right nut so much cooler than the left nut?"

"What's the difference between your PC and your Penis? Usually its small, used often and you dont let just ANYONE touch it."