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Joke of the Day

"I don't know why /r/deadbedrooms complains so much about starfish sex. Personally, it really turns me on when her arms grow back."

"What does a sick billionaire say? ""I feel like a million bucks"""

"What does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten tickles."

"What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub? The nun has hope in her soul!"

"A man once ate a whole deck of playing cards. A couple of hours later, he had to drop a deuce."

"The French government has issued a statement regarding the recent string of terrorist attacks. Oui surrender"

"Was really suicidal, so I called the suicide hotline. They patched me through to Al-Qaeda."

"Name an X-Man that is also a Transformer Bruce Jenner"

"I wish life had a rewindthe-weekend button."

"Yes, I absolutely want to hear about your cat's medication."