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Joke of the Day

"So a group of nerve cells are mingling for the first time. They look really nervous."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your cock up someone's ass."

"I went to a girl and was like ""I'd like to take my rocket to Uranus"" She detached the final stage"

"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, ""Bartender, how much do I owe you?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, neutron, no charge."""

"[spelling bee] JUDGE: your word is antonym ME: synonym JUDGE: no you have to spell it, not give an example ME: *lips on mic* i-t"

"What do you call a gay caveman with a Viagra prescription? Homo erectus."

"Man, I have really bad diarrhea I need to get my shit together."

"The Pope walked into a bar and was arrested for diddling little boys."

"I just want to be fit enough to reach into my glove compartment, without crying."