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Joke of the Day

"I've hosted an bukkake party for my girlfriend You should've seen her face"

"Suicide is only illegal because dead people can't pay taxes."

"Why can't you have two Apple watches? Because then it would be a pair (pear)!"

"[NO SPOILERS] Did you hear about the stormtrooper who fell asleep at The Force Awakens? He missed everything!"

"Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA put a man on the moon. We put a bird into pigs."

"I bet cats think people wish they were cats."

"Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way."

"What do you call a slutty duck that does drugs? A quack whore."

"I talk like a sailor in front of my kid. He's gonna swear anyway and I want him to be good at it."

"What's Charles Dickens's middle name? Deep"