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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you have two Apple watches? Because then it would be a pair (pear)!"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between the Panama Canal and Nancy Pelosi?? ... ... .... One is a busy ditch."
"Granny Smith must have been a shitty person because her apples suck."
"What is the most socially unacceptable joke you know? Preferably really dark or 'just plain wrong' jokes."
"[NSFW] ""The Pope does anal now!"" ""Holy fucking shit, are you serious?!"""
"You can't leave the aquarium with a penguin. It's a stuffed animal I got in the gift shop. Ma'am, it's moving. I GOT IT IN THE GIFT SHOP!"
"What did Freddy Mercury have for breakfast? Bacon and AIDS (I'm so sorry Freddy)"
"When a cop pulls you over, pull out a map and ask them for directions until they forget that they pulled you over. -me, right now"
"Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'"
"A book fell on my head the other day, I only have my shelf to blame"