57846

Joke of the Day

"I told my wife .. if she ever wanted to try anal sex, I'd be behind her all the way."

"At church, last sunday ..., the preacher said ""Jesus died for your sins"". At that point, a man got up, furious and shouted ""Seriously, man? I was reading that book!"""

"Don't worry if a fat guy comes to kidnap you... I told Santa all I want for Christmas is you."

"Why was Ohm the Empire's best scout? He discovered the resistance"

"one time I saw a cop on a horse start to walk it down some steps and I thought ""oh the horse is trained for stairs"" and then they both fell"

"""Say ur a bad girl"" I'm a bad girl ""oooh yeah, and tell me what bad girls do..."" ooh i'm gonna sign up for 3 months of yoga and only go twice"

"wife: How was work? [flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said ""abreast""] me:Good"

"Count Dracula survived on the blood of 18 year old virgins for Millennia... He died last year."

"Procrastinating?! Don't even get me started!"

"Why is hockey the bloodiest sport? It has three periods."