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Joke of the Day
"Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there's a giant dog with a tiny woman in her purse."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today? It's rare to see a medium well done."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the black guy cross the road? To kill the chicken and eat it!"
"If you throw away an ice sculpture, is it justice?"
"If Bob Marley were alive today, what would he listen to music on? An iAndiPod. Just made that one up. I can hear the groans."
"Do you know why there's no sound when Django has sex? Because the D is silent."
"[walking away from taco truck] WIFE: whats wrong ME: nothing WIFE: did u think the truck would be one giant taco ME: *wiping away tears* no"
"""Did you check your pockets?"" - kangaroo who's lost a child"
"wife on facebook: homework with 9, he's doing so well! wife to me: it took him 8 tries to spell cake. CAKE. grab some wine on your way home"
"My fortune cookie just says Hahahaha. Is that good?"