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Joke of the Day

"Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office? Because the devil takes many forms."

"Last year, I got socks for Christmas. The year before, I got a couple of sacks. And before that, a sax. For pity's sake, Santa, you blind old jerk, it's sex. S-E-X."

"Why can't mites race in NASCAR? Because mites make rights, not lefts."

"Why are all the guys banging hot chicks in porn fat and ugly? I don't know, but sign me up!"

"Pizza places should give away free pizza car air-freshners. Within 5seconds of sitting in your car, you WILL crave pizza."

"Hitler took a quiz... He didn't do that well on most of the questions, but he got the third reich."

"What kind of cancer was Jar Jar diagnosed with? Meesathelioma."

"All of these time capsules I just dug up have bodies in them?"

"How do you get gum out of your hair? Q: How do you get gum out of your hair? A: Cancer."

"Why was Stalin literally worse than Hitler? Because Hitler at least wrote his own books"