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Joke of the Day
"""Of course you're the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder"" - alcohol"
Next Joke
"My wife came out of the shower and said, ""I shaved ""down there"". You know what that means?"" I said, ""Yeah you clogged the drain again."""
"User interface? I hardly even know her!"
"What's the difference... What's the difference between a colostomy bag and a politician? The bag isn't always full of shit!"
"So I read on a website to ""treat your furry friend once a week."" So I bought him two tickets to Zootopia."
"I didn't really want to go to the seafood buffet... ...but I just went for the halibut"
"Alright, so, two Jews walk into a shower I bet you can finish this one"
"The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry's in the oven. I'm going to bed."
"I'm not sure why my dog enjoys watching me have sex but I'm sure deep down she's thinking ""B itch stole my move..."""
"What is it called when you give money to a plains bison? A buffaloan!"