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Joke of the Day
"""Of course you're the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder"" - alcohol"
Next Joke
"So I heard the Brits have a new dating app It's called Kinder."
"Before I get out of an elevator, I hug every single person in there with me and whisper in their ear ""You've taught me so much."""
"You didn't have to say ""he's a male nurse."" When you said 'he' my psychic ability of gender discernment kicked in."
"What do you call the field of study for dad jokes? *Sigh*ence"
"What's a let down Chinese lobster called? A crushed asian"
"My girlfriend and I were practicing safe sex... i told her sex with a condom on doesn't usually feel as good. she pulled it off"
"Then my wife left me, I became an alcoholic and started making meth in my basement but anyway take one candy bar each kids. Happy Halloween."
"On a scale of 1 to 10, You're a 9 ... and I'm the 1 you need!"
"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to let a lentil in my mouth."