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Joke of the Day

"What is the Beatles' favourite social media site? REDDIT BE"

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"I decided to try out a new Mediterranean recipe that takes 2 hours to cook. I've got a lot of thyme on my hands."
"I know a guy who can get us in to Whole Foods without a cover charge."
"Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard? They're all paws."
"Every time you reach under the couch for something a giant spider must choose whether or not to give up its secure location."
"What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual! Two Languages? Bilingual! Only one language? Americans~"
"Lemonaid What kind of juice do you get from sick lemons? LemonAIDS"
"A Man Has a Heart Attack on a Plane... Stewardess: Is **anybody** here a doctor?! Man: (Raising Hand) I'm a vegan."
"My wife hates when I make jokes about her weight... ...She needs to lighten up."
"What do cows like to put on their hot dogs? moostard"