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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between New York City and the Land of Mordor? Two Towers."

"I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like ""Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."""

"If you're married to your dick... would you be a wife beater?"

"pplease remember to turn your location on so the buffoons on this web site can have an easier time finding you, for whatever horrible reason"

"I wasn't going to get a brain transplant... ...But then I changed my mind"

"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Mars has 2 moons. Venus has no moons. Do you see where I'm getting at? Men, GIVE BACK OUR MOON!"

"so a native american walks into a fancy restaurant he says to the guy seating people, I have reservations."

"I'm tired of conventional beauty standards that say I can't wear a ski mask in a bank"

"What did the fat cat go to prison for? Purrrjury"

"The Garden of Eden must have been one exciting place if the most tempting things were apples."