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Joke of the Day

"If Hitler had a pet, what would it be? A dolphin"

"Why did Henry VIII fail his classes? Because he lost all his Tudors."

"I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag... 1 year for insulting a political officer, 30 years for revealing a state secret"

"Winston and a Cat What is the difference between J. Winston and a cat? One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl."

"I left my keys on my piano ...That's it."

"What type of lunch do you get at an air show? A plain one."

"Hey, Gandalf! What's your favourite kind of insect? FLY, YOU FOOLS!"

"Told my doctor I had a headache. He gave me 2 hollowpoint ""pills"" and a 9mm ""delivery system"" Damn Obama Care."

"Has anyone heard the joke about the magic tractor? it was driving down the road and it turned into a field."

"Have you heard about the insomniac polymath? She could do ALMOST everything with her eyes closed."