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Joke of the Day

"Making everyone happy is impossible. But pissing them off is a piece of cake. I like cake."

"They say gays destroy the very fabric of society..... Nonsense! No gay man would ever dream of destroying fabric."

"An orchestra went to the desert Which member felt the warmest? The conductor."

"Jackie stood quietly as her father examined her report card. ""What is this 45 in math?"" asked her father. ""I think that's the size of the class"" she said quickly!"

"What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole"

"I was accused of sexual harassment But I couldn't of. Because her ass meant nothing to me."

"I won't say she's a cunt, but she has a certain je ne sais twat."

"Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks? Because he thought it wood look better!"

"Just ran into a grammar fanatic out with whom I once made."

"i never dreamed that little pictures on a screen would feel like friends... yet here i am."