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Joke of the Day

"What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursELF "

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"How do blondes' brain cells die? Alone"
"How do skeletons greet each other? Bon'nichiwa"
"We are all seven Huffington Post slideshows away from finishing a minor task"
"What do you call a cross between... a Mafia Don and post-modernism? An offer you can't understand."
"Whats the antonym of Manchester United? WomanBreastsR Divided"
"Thanks for wiping down my table... a damp surface that smells like a dirty sweat sock is so much better than a few crumbs."
"How does Father Christmas request a four-way at a brothel? Ho ho ho"
"Psychic fellatio It'll blow your mind"
"[robbing Whole Foods] ""All the cash in a bag NOW!"" 100% organic reusable bag ok? ""Yes!"" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag"