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Joke of the Day

"What did one orphan say to another? Robin, get in the Batmobile."

"Saw some kids building sandcastles on the beach so I ran and jumped on one of them. Then I wrecked his sandcastle."

"""I finally caught up with my son."" ""That's good. Progress. How did it go?"" ""Badly. I cut off his hand THEN told him."" - Vader & therapist"

"They say kids grow up fast but I just licked my thumb & wiped my son's face so parents grow up fast too. I've already become my grandmother."

"My five-year-old: ""I don't want to be your daughter anymore. I QUIT!"" No two-week notice or anything. She'd better not expect a reference."

"Whats about 9 inches and makes a woman scream? Cot death."

"Q: What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic? A: A PearlJam "

"Me: Better late than never! Wife: ... M: Seeing red? W: ... M: Go with the flow! W: ... M: I'll go buy tampons. W: NOW, MISTER FUNNY MAN."

"Poop Patties What did the fry cook do when he found out they were making the burger patties with feces? He flipped a shit."

"I'm a bit of a self deprecating comedian, I must admit, I'm not very good."