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Joke of the Day

"Me: Whats the best thing on the menu? Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*"

"I've got 99 problems but my battery is almost dead so I guess we'll have to talk about this later."

"America: School 6-18 should be free. More than free! MANDATORY ""Hey can you cover school 19-22 also?"" No that's socialism ""19-20?"" SOCIALISM"

"Why don't black people go on cruise ships? They aren't gonna fall for that one again."

"When Kelis sang about her milkshake bringing all the boys to the yard... ...do you suppose she was referring to her dairy-ere?"

"What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You pull the pin and throw it back."

"Hey baby, there's a party in my pants. And urine.. ...Vited."

"Q: When should you charge a battery? A: When you can't pay cash."

"Why are turtles dangerous in China ? Because they can turtle you."

"I watched ""The Edge of Tomorrow"" hundreds of times there seems to be an awful lot of alternative endings though."