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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy, and one is a little lighter."
Next Joke
"What do you call it when the host of Who Wants to be a Millionaire messes up while reading the question? A Regis Error."
"The best part about dating a homeless girl You can drop her off anywhere."
"Glad my car insurance company requires a 10 character password to log-in. Wouldn't want someone to hack in and...pay my insurance bill"
"ants what has 2 legs, and eats ants? Uncles"
"What superhero would a (insert stereotype here) man be? Batman. Why? Because he can't go out at night without Robin!"
"Some lady brought a gaggle of pre-teens to the movie, sat them down next to us & then sat elsewhere. I sold them all on the black market."
"Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief & suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called a Wedding Cake!!"
"[drunk w/ 2 kittens at a bar] give me another ""haven't u had enough?"" i'll tell u when i've had enough! *bartender hands me another kitten*"
"GOLFER: what r u thinkin ME (caddying): honestly sometimes i wake up & am mad that im not dead GOLFER: jesus. i meant what club should i use"