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Joke of the Day

"A dragonfly just landed on my face an I reacted the same way I'd react if an actual dragon had landed on my face."

"A chinese couple had a black baby They named it ""Sum Ting Wong""."

"What do you call graveyard shenanigans? Tombfoolery."

"I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I'm down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall."

"Did you hear about the frog that wasn't good at parking? He had to get toad."

"Visiting grandma (nsfw) Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! ""Shut up and keep digging, boy."""

"*exorcism* DEMON: *roars* PRIEST: we must restrain him! WIFE: *opens drawer* here! *tosses fuzzy pink handcuffs* PRIEST: ... DEMON: hey now"

"I got a job installing security systems... I find it pretty alarming"

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass"

"GOD: [as a kid] DINOSAURS! GOD: [as a teenager] You will know the profound sadness of existence, humans."