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Joke of the Day
"I'm a fighter not a lover I'd rather beat guys off than love them"
Next Joke
"your momma so fat I'm seriously concerned for her health"
"Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree."
"[Storm into Octopus Boss' office] I want a raise or I quit! [Octopus Boss is almost done camouflaging against the fern] NOT THIS TIME"
"How does Bruce Wayne's mom call Bruce in for dinner... She can't she's dead"
"At this stage of my life, ""Good in Bed"" means not snoring or stealing the covers."
"*plugs my phone in to charge when it's at 80%* *lets the low battery warning on my fire alarm beep for 6 months*"
"A Hydrogen atom walks into a bar... ...and asks for a shot. Bartender, ""what's the occasion?"" Atom, ""I think I lost an electron."" Bartender, ""you sure?"" Atom, ""I'm positive."""
"Leonardo DiCaprio set to play a Long John Silver in his next role. Having previous experience with spending most of his years searching for gold."
"Yo momma's so fat... I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing!"