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Joke of the Day

"Made this up while hanging out with some friends What do you call someone you hate who owns a cube car? Dick in a box"

"Rick Astley Will Lend You... Any of the Pixar films in his movie collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up."

"Why did the melon try so hard to get her father's approval? Because she cant-aloupe"

"I think my anorexic girlfriend is cheating on me... Every day I'm seeing less and less of her. ` ` ^^~not ^^my ^^joke"

"How many dicks does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one but he will be a real asshole about it."

"My grandmother tried keeping her hysterectomy a secret... ...but the doctors let the cat out of the bag."

"You're breaking up with me because I ""don't put food in the correct things?"" WTF? After I've JUST made you a delicious bowl of toast??"

"Bi?ch I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply"

"I get home late, dead tired, & see my name in big, bloody letters on the bedroom wall - & I'm like, nope, I will deal w/ THIS in the morning"

"When does a cub become a boy scout? When he eats his first brownie"