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Joke of the Day

"How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!"

"5yo: if superman & batman had a big fight, superman could throw him into space where he'd suffocate'. I'm raising a problem solver you guys."

"""Yo dog, this yogurt is mad delicious."" -Me, eating yogurt, and talking to my dog. I'm gonna die alone aren't I?"

"Sometimes I like to repost my statuses that didn't get any ""Likes""... because they deserve a second chance too."

"Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage."

"Telling our kids we were born before the Internet is going to be the new 'I walked to school in the snow without shoes'"

"He was such a brutal fighter that, after slaying the tigress in the arena, he proceeded to devour her flesh. And he felt no remorse. He was Gladiator."

"My doctor told me to avoid trans fats. I'm really gonna miss tumblr."

"I'm no Exorcist, but i did scare the hell out of someone once."

"Me, Myself & Irene What would be the movie called if it were about you? You Yourself & Urine."