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Joke of the Day
"What are your two favourite times to party? Daytime and night-time!"
Next Joke
"Just a typical interview ""What's your greatest weakness?"" ""Honesty."" ""I don't really think that's a weakness."" ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""
"What is Forest Gump's Email password? 1Forest1"
"Army guy: sniper in the clock tower, 6 o'clock Me [seeing the time on the clock tower says 5 o'clock]: I'm just gonna nap for an hour then"
"What is the most common kind of martial arts among Germans? Jewjitsu"
"According to this box of spaghetti I am an Italian family of 8"
"Reading the Cheesecake Factory menu. Don't tell me how it ends!"
"So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with but I've been tripping all day."
"Just saw The Martian. If Matt Damon was alone on Mars, who was filming him that whole time? Clearly fake"
"This stupid farmers market doesn't have any locally grown pizza."