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Joke of the Day

"I went to the Optometrists to buy some glasses the other day, you'll never guess who I ran into... Everyone."

"I was dating a girl with a lazy eye... but caught her seeing someone on the side."

"What do you call a transformer in a canoe? A row bot"

"Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me."

"How do you congratulate a fighter after winning a match? Good jab."

"Fun game: if someone wants to shake your hand, sniff your fingers first and then see if they still want to."

"My physics teacher is the chord slope of an a-t curve The average jerk"

"[being mugged] ME: can i keep things of sentimental value? ROBBER: ok ME:[pulling things from wallet] my favorite cash...my lucky debit card"

"I think my scale is broken. It only ever goes up."

"At first I didn't like my new haircut ... but now it's growing on me."