55991

Joke of the Day

"So I wanted to make a YouTube channel about Reddit... They wouldn't let me name it RedTube."

"What is the difference between Jesus and a painting? You only need a nail to hang a painting."

"Can we have a thread with alternative endings to traditional jokes? I'll start: Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six offender."

"Its going down, basement. Friday the 13th guess whos playing Jason? Tuck yourself in you better hold on to your teddy. Its Nightmare on Elm street and guess whos playing Freddy?"

"Justin Biebers music saved my life I was in a coma after a bad car accident and the nurse decided to start playing some Justin bieber... I woke up and turned that shit off."

"I like my wings like I like my Caitlyn Jenners. Boneless."

"My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers To be honest, I should have seen the signs."

"Instagram is the most pleasant social media site because it's really difficult to take ignorant, racist pictures of dogs & brunch"

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say upon being asked to star in a Broadway production about the world's greatest composers? I'll be Bach. Sorry."

"I had a vasectomy today, and my wife keeps asking how I feel... I've had to tell her over and over that it's not that bad, and that I don't notice much of a vas deferens."