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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a vaping vegan?1 Nothing! It isn't like you'll be able to get a word in!"

"Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question...... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard."

"Dude, I can't tweet AND know when the light turns green. I'm pretty, not magical."

"I'd always wondered why they didn't make pencils with erasers on either side Then I realised there wouldn't be any point."

"Sometimes I want to kidnap a few woman for two to three weeks so that their eyebrows can grow without fear"

"Why was the blonde wearing condoms on her ears? Because she didn't want to get hearing-AIDS."

"What is Jesus's go-to pickup line? Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?"

"I love hearing peoples' stories... ...I'm always chasing tale."

"I'm a vegetarian and when people say to me ""you know Hitler was also a vegetarian"" it always reminds me how many Jews I've been killing"

"What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader ? A spooksman !"